It’s been a while since I first blogged about “A Simple Complication” and I would like to report that I’m still working on this project. I have taken some time off due to a … complication in my own life.
I needed additional material for the storyline and to develop the proper feel for this novel. In March 2010, I performed research into relevant social issues surrounding the LGBT community. I planned to use this information as a basis for the problems facing my story’s protagonist.
As I researched information for my book I had unwittingly opened up a window into my own soul. I discovered that I had unresolved issues related to the fictional characters I developed for “A Simple Complication.” Something was wrong in my heart and the information I was being exposed to began to resonate deep inside me. I didn’t know what I was looking for, but my soul was screaming for relief.
While looking for answers, I watched a video featuring Lady Vixion on YouTube. She said seven little words that almost literally knocked me out of my chair. It was a revelation about myself that I had never considered before. She said, “Gender and Sexuality are two different things!!” Once I heard that simple statement I KNEW who I was and what I needed to do.
What was the revelation? Simply this. Being transgendered has absolutely nothing to do with my bisexual nature and everything to do with my gender identity. Please forgive the line, but I am a woman trapped in a man’s body. How did this affect me? I ended up losing a cherished relationship and was unable to deal with the loss for quite a while.
I finally figured out what my problem was. I was trying to hold on to the past instead of looking toward the future. I decided to figure out where I was going and what I needed to make myself happy for the rest of my life. Happiness is out there. I will find that one thing that makes me happy and I will hold it close to my heart for as long as I can.
I’ll leave you with these thoughts for now and will revisit this topic another day.
Awesome post. Do you mind if I ask what your source is for this information?
By: Jamboree In The Hills on February 16, 2011
at 9:05 am
Thank you for the compliment. I have been drawing information from many sources. Everything from News sources like Fox News and ranging all the way down to opinions voiced on YouTube. Did you have a question about a specific part of my blog?
The following link points to Part 1 of this blog: http://wp.me/pBUyB-1q
~ Dacrimara
By: Dacrimara on February 16, 2011
at 9:29 pm
I love reading your blogs! After I read this one, seven words popped into my head. “To grow, you have to let go” Not an easy thing to do, probably because we are creatures of habit and like to hold onto all that is safe and familiar to us.
Once we realise change is not as scary as it sounds or looks and that we have a choice, life is quite interesting.
The other thing you mentioned here is happiness, and that it’s out there somewhere. It made me wonder why we believe happiness is “out there”, And why do we so desperately search for it? Can it simply be that happiness is something that we have to find within ourselves to be able to find it “out there”.
By: Narscheska on February 19, 2011
at 4:57 am
You are correct, Narscheska. Many find themselves trapped in the past and unable to move forward simply because of a strong emotion tied to someone or something they no longer have any connection to. This sense of loss breeds sadness and pain. Living in the past is simple reminiscence and cannot give you true happiness. Once you realize that happiness (and other emotions, like Love) must be reaffirmed on a daily basis you will also come to find that the future holds the keys to your continued internal happiness.
You mention a confusion over the phrase “finding happiness ‘out there’”. I suppose that many have misconstrued or have lost the real meaning of this phrase, but when I say this I mean that the TRIGGER for my happiness is out there. Happiness is and always has been an internal thing. All happiness is discovered within the person, not “out there”, but you have to get “out there” to trigger your own happiness.
One of my strongest beliefs is that “Happiness is a choice.” I choose to be happy and to do that I constantly look for those triggers that help me be happy about every aspect of my life.
By: Dacrimara on February 19, 2011
at 11:04 am
I fully agree with you that happiness is a choice. The triggers you are talking about I can understand, they just add to your “bucket” of happiness. Still it’s a long hard road to find your own “happy place” and it takes a lot of work to get there. No woman, man or thing can take you there and keep you there for long. It’s something we have to do on our own or it will fail miserably. Quite a scary place to go, to do the gut wrenching soul searching to even enter the first phase.
By: Narscheska on February 19, 2011
at 2:56 pm
It’s interesting to see this point of view. I can’t say fore sure if I agree or not, but it is something I will think about now.
By: Minecraft on March 8, 2011
at 5:22 am
There is one last point I would like to make about happiness triggers. A memory can be used to trigger feelings of happiness. This is often referred to as “finding your happy place.”
I believe that over time one gets used to the feeling a particular memory evokes. The intensity of the feeling subsides and in order to continue to feel that emotional intensity one must find new memories to keep the feeling alive.
So, my assertion that you must get out there and that the future holds the key to finding your triggers is valid.
By: Dacrimara on March 8, 2011
at 7:01 am